Addicted to your allure
by Caz Malfoy
Summary: Crossover with Miami. What do you do, when you know something is bad for you? And you still can't let go.


_Disclaimer: _I don't own CSI:Miami or NY. The lyrics used belong to the singer and no proft is being made from their use.

Author's note: I purposely left this fic open so you could decide whether it's Speed or Danny.

Addicted to your allure

_What do you do?  
__When you know something is bad for you.  
__And you sill can't let go_

What happened to me? I used to so strong; so independent. I never needed to be with someone to make myself happy. So what the hell happened?

I didn't even want to be with you originally. Sure, I thought that you were attractive and funny, but that was it. You were just someone who was a friend of a friend; nothing more.

In the middle of every sleepless night I find myself lying awake, staring through the darkness and thinking about how I managed to get myself here.

I've tried cutting the ties that bind me to you. Over and over again, I've tried to avoid answering my phone when you call; tried not to respond to emails you've sent and messages you've left. I've even tried spending more time at work so that I wouldn't be at home if you called.

When this all started, everything seemed wonderful. It had so long since I had been in a serious relationship that it was like starting from the very beginning. Our first night together we were like teenagers. Fumbling with zippers and clashing our teeth.

It didn't last long that night; a few touches and kisses were all it took before we were both lost with pleasure.

It took me a long time to admit that my feelings towards you were more than I had ever imagined they could be. My heart is telling me that I'm in love with you. Truly, madly, deeply; head over heels in love.

Then why is my head telling me that I've been naïve and foolish all along?

Is that true? Have my feelings of lust clouded my judgement to the point that I can't tell if it's my heart or hormones speaking?

Every time I try to sever the strings, I find a reason to stay with you. Or maybe, they're excuses. Who can tell? It's very clear that you are the puppeteer in our strange carnival show.

I've done so much for you. I'm not trying to make myself out to be a martyr in this; but I have tried so hard to make you as happy as possible. I've done everything you asked of me.

I see now that my efforts were futile. Sometimes, no matter how hard a captain tries, he cannot prevent his ship from sinking in the dark depths of the ocean.

But what can I do? Do I listen to my heart and stay, even know I know I'll come out of this on the worse end and it won't be pretty.

Or do I listen to my head and pack my things and leave? I could leave you here, sitting alone in the empty apartment and wondering what went wrong.

You were the one that went wrong. Somewhere in this relationship, you became too comfortable; too used to having me to lean on; too used to being able to take your frustration out me.

What will you do now that I'm not there?

_I was naïve  
__Your love was like candy  
__Artificially sweet  
__I was deceived by the wrapping_

_Got caught in your web  
__And I learned how to bleed  
__I was prey in your bed  
__And devoured completely_

_Oh, it hurts my soul  
_'_Cos I can't let go  
__All these walls are caving in  
__I can't stop my suffering  
__  
I hate to show  
__That I've lost control  
_'_Cos I keep going right back  
__To the one thing  
__That I need to walk away from_

_I should have known  
__I was used for amusement  
__Couldn't see through the smoke  
__It was all an illusion_

_Now I've been licking my wounds  
__But the venom sinks deeper, deeper  
__We both can seduce  
__But darling you hold me prisoner_

_I'm about to break  
__I can't stop this ache  
__I'm addicted to your allure  
__And I'm fiednin' for a cure_

_Every step I take  
__Leads to one mistake  
__I keep going right back  
__To the one thing_

_I can't mend  
__This sorry state I'm in  
__Getting nothing in return  
__What did I do to deserve  
__The pain of this slow burn_

_And every where I turn  
__I keep going right back  
__To the one thing  
__I need to walk away from_

_Every time I try to gasp for air  
__I get smothered in despair  
__It's never over, over  
__Seems I'll never wake  
__From this nightmare  
__I lay down and sigh  
__And pray it'll be over, over_

_Inside I'm screaming,  
Begging, pleading, no more  
_- Walk Away, Christina Aguilera


End file.
